What SLPs Get Wrong About Teaching Conversation Skills (and what to do instead for meaningful, neurodiversity-affirming progress.)
Why Teaching Conversation Skills Feels So Tricky for SLPs
Let’s be honest for a second.
Most of us weren’t really taught how to teach conversation skills.
Sure, we may have briefly covered pragmatics and social language in a class or two while in grad school. We learned to target “turn-taking,” “staying on topic,” and “asking questions.” But when it comes to breaking conversation down into teachable, real-world steps that actually click for neurodivergent students?
That’s where so many SLPs hit a wall.
And it’s not your fault. Most of the materials out there oversimplify what conversation actually is — or worse, they focus on compliance (“say this,” “do that”) instead of authentic connection.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’m not sure where to even start,” or “My students can memorize the steps but can’t apply them in real life,” — this post is for you.
Let’s talk about what’s often getting in the way…and how to fix it.
1. Treating Conversation Like a Single Skill Instead of a Sequence
We often teach “conversation” as one monolithic goal — but it’s really a series of connected micro-skills.
Think about it: before a student can “keep a conversation going,” they need to first notice cues, start a topic, trade information, and ask follow-up questions. Each of these pieces builds upon the next.
When we skip ahead or lump everything together, students miss the logic and flow that make conversations meaningful.
→ What to do instead: Teach conversation as a sequence, not a single event.
Break it into smaller teachable parts (e.g., noticing, starting, maintaining, ending).
Use visuals or frameworks (like The Social Skills Blueprint®) to help students see how the pieces fit together.
Practice each skill in isolation and in context — so students can connect the dots between structured practice and real-life communication.
2. Focusing on Compliance Instead of Connection
Many traditional social skills programs teach scripts or “rules.” While they’re well-intentioned, they often encourage masking instead of authentic interaction.
Neurodivergent students deserve to be taught why certain social behaviors help connection, not that there’s one “right” way to socialize.
→ What to do instead: Shift your goal from social correctness to social connection.
Validate your students’ natural communication styles.
Teach perspective taking, reciprocity, and shared enjoyment instead of rote responses.
Use reflective discussion and guided role-play to explore what helps people feel connected — not just what “looks right.”
When students understand the purpose behind conversational behaviors, their skills become flexible, genuine, and self-driven.
3. Ignoring the Role of Motivation and Interests
Here’s the truth: if the topic doesn’t matter to the student, the skill won’t stick.
Many students disengage from social communication practice because it feels irrelevant or forced. But when conversation topics are rooted in personal interests, motivation skyrockets — and generalization follows naturally.
→ What to do instead: Make conversations personally meaningful.
Let students lead with their special interests — and model how to expand those topics reciprocally.
Use “trading information” as a teaching lens: I share something → you share something → we build a connection.
Incorporate peers, videos, or role-plays that connect to real experiences your students care about.
A Neurodiversity-Affirming Approach to Teaching Conversation Skills
When we step back, teaching conversation isn’t really about “fixing” communication — it’s about helping students build confidence in expressing who they are while learning how to connect with others in ways that feel good to them.
It’s about communication as collaboration, not compliance.
A Framework That Simplifies Social Communication Therapy
If this post resonates, you’ll love my Social Skills Blueprint® Handbook for Providers.
It’s a neurodiversity-affirming roadmap that helps SLPs:
Teach each step of conversation through clear, ready-to-use lesson plans
Incorporate self-advocacy and social reasoning naturally
Save hours of prep time while making therapy sessions more engaging and effective
You’ll walk away with structure, confidence, and language that empowers your students to build authentic, lasting connections — not just check off social boxes.
Putting Conversation Skills Into Practice in Speech Therapy
You don’t need to start from scratch — or reinvent the wheel — to teach conversation skills well. You just need the right lens: one that’s rooted in understanding, connection, and authentic communication.
Because our students don’t need to be taught to “fit in.”
They need to be supported in learning how to connect.